In this post, you’ll learn the 5-step manifesting process, what you can create when you use it, why my approach to manifesting is foolproof, and what I’ve created using it.
There is a five-step process for creating anything you want. It looks like this:
1️⃣ Practice mindfulness, and specifically stop the negative thought train
2️⃣ Engage creative energy, and take one step toward the desired outcome
3️⃣ Be vulnerable, and take away the power the current circumstances have upon you.
4️⃣ Give it up to grace, and surrender to your desired creation entering life in its own damn way.
5️⃣ Worship your body, and give it whatever it needs.
What else do you need to know?
Honestly, You Can’t Fucq Up Using This 5-Step Manifesting Process
The beautiful thing about these steps? You create while truly practicing all of these steps simultaneously, so you can never truly screw it up. Though there are pitfalls to look out for, and skillful coaching can help you navigate.
These are the same five steps I used to course-correct when I was facing a possible eviction a few years ago (I’ll tell you about this in a future blog post!). They are the steps to manifest solutions to scary problems AND the steps to create awesome good things without drama. (Either way you need to use them, they work!)
THAT’S NOT ALL…
They’re also actually the same steps I took to manifest the love of my life, and we celebrated our 9th anniversary this month!
I daresay I found my soulmate early in life because of these 3 powerful tips I’m going to share with you today.
Ready to read these 3 powerful tips to help you manifest your soulmate?
It was a month before my 19th birthday when I saw a guy had checked out my OKCupid profile, and I messaged him. That night in May 2010 we went on our first date. Seeing as we’re celebrating our 9th anniversary this week, I’m qualified to share some tips for manifesting your own soulmate!
By doing what I’m going to share with you in this article, I met and fell in love with a man who I have lovingly described as the safe place from which I’ve been able to blossom.
I’ve grown more outgoing, more assertive, more confident, and in so many more ways than I can describe. But I only grew so much because I knew he saw me. Saw me the way I saw me. Saw me the way NO ONE ELSE EVER HAD.
That should give you a hint of the emotional stakes I felt when I was manifesting my soulmate…
I remember how excited I was as a kid for every holiday. As Thanksgiving or Easter approached, I was practically bouncing in my seat, ready to see my cousins and aunts and uncles and my grandmother. I’d build it up in my head. So excited to see them. As an adult, I can’t remember what exactly I thought would happen, but it was like knowing you were going to win the lottery. And then… at some point during the day, I would inevitably experience the crash you feel when the lotto numbers are called and you fuckin’ lost.
Growing up, that sense of emptiness like I’d lost something big was actually pretty persistent.
It didn’t matter WHERE I was… that emptiness followed.
How can I describe the craving I felt for love, kinship, community, BELONGING?
I generally had the sense that I was like nobody else around. No one GOT me. And though I tried, I didn’t really GET them either.
As a teenager, my only hope was that I’d someday find a guy who did get me. I prayed that my soulmate would come along, and fast. This brings me to my first tip for help you manifest your soulmate…
Manifest Your Soulmate Tip 1: Visualize, but more than that… imagine the FEELS
I spent time in visualization, though I wasn’t aware that this was a creative method that would actually bring him to me… I pictured, as my mother drove us somewhere and we sang along to cheesy ’80s music, that I’d someday be driving alongside my soulmate, the two of us singing the same songs I was now singing. I imagined taking my future beau to family gatherings. Imagined him having discussions with my male cousins about sports. I imagined the wholeness I would feel when standing by his side.
Get help to feel the feelings of having manifested your soulmate with my free “Luxuriate in the Having of It” meditation. Enter your details below and click that button 😉
Manifest Your Soulmate Tip 2: Learn to Recognize Near-Fits, and Hold Out for Perfect Fits
My path to my boyfriend taught me that there are near-fits and perfect fits, and you should definitely hold out for the perfect fit.
“You deserve to be YOU. Any change you’re going to make should be a change you want to make. Those around you — and I mean everyone — should be happy to support you in building your life the way you want and let go of their notions of what your life is supposed to look like.”
Rosella LaFevre, Long-Haul Master and Manifestation Teacher
Before Chris came a few other guys but one in particular comes to mind. He is a great guy, and I really hope he found his perfect fit, but we weren’t it. And yet… Spending the weekend at his house, hanging out with his mom was the first time in a while I’d felt at home. His mom was a real person. She wore her flaws on her sleeve but she was loving and kind. In the brief time I spent around her, she showed me unconditional love, of which I’d been starved for a while.
That relationship taught me that I could feel that homey feeling again but I could also hold out for someone who wouldn’t need me to change…
Here’s a really specific example: That boyfriend told me I’d have to learn how to drive if we were going to stay together. The truth is I had one lesson behind the wheel of a Buick Rainier at 16 years old and that was enough for me. To this day, I have no desire to drive. Chris has never forced the issue, never told me I need to drive. He’s happy to be my chauffeur. And now there’s Uber, so that’s awesome…
You deserve to be YOU. Any change you’re going to make should be a change you want to make. Those around you — and I mean everyone — should be happy to support you in building your life the way you want and let go of their notions of what your life is supposed to look like.
If they don’t? Call them in. (And while these tips work for manifesting your romantic soulmate partner, they also work for calling in soulmate friends, soulmate clients, and soulmate employees!)
Manifest Your Soulmate Tip 3: Ruthlessly Edit Toxicity from Your Life
You can also take action to remove the toxicity from your life that prevents your soulmates from coming to you. If there isn’t any toxicity in your life, that’s great! But there was in mine. And truthfully, I didn’t eliminate these beyond-sour relationships until after I met my boyfriend, cutting these ties I’m going to tell you about helped me to manifest a soul family.
“Clearing space for the people who will LOVE you as you are while empowering you to grow may be painful at the start, but it is rewarding as fuck. I promise.”
Rosella LaFevre, Long-Haul Master and Manifestation Teacher
Here’s the most potent example I can give you of this…
Most of that very same family I used to be ecstatic about seeing each Easter (and on every other major holiday) are people I no longer talk to. My parents’ ugly divorce really forced the issue… And I decided to say “ta-ta for now” to my maternal family.
There was anger on their side that I refused to exile my father. And I was pissed as hell that they were trying to make me pick sides. Right before my college graduation I allowed my mother to effectively disown me…
This left a void. I had no idea how I would spend my holidays now. I decided I would never go back until I am apologized to, and that still hasn’t happened nearly 6 years later.
I missed the big family gatherings, though. I missed being surrounded by lots of people, and I craved, even if I didn’t realize it at the time, finding a family that would love me unconditionally.
So the last I saw my mother and her family was Easter Sunday in 2013.
By Thanksgiving 2013, I was invited with my father to spend holidays with a family we’d known for years. These beautiful people are who I’ve spent every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter with in the years since.
Clearing space for the people who will LOVE you as you are while empowering you to grow may be painful at the start, but it is rewarding as fuck. I promise.
Manifest Your Soulmate: 3 Powerful Tips Recap
Tip 1: Visualize, but more than that… Imagine the FEELS
Tip 2: Learn to Recognize Near-Fits, and Hold Out for Perfect Fits
Tip 3: Ruthlessly Edit Toxicity from Your Life
Manifest Your Soulmate with This Homework
Take some time today to envision (with or without putting pen to paper: your choice) the soulmates you’re making space for, whether they’re a romantic partner, fans of your work, paying clients, or a “new” family that gets you. Here are some prompts for your reflection:
How will your life change when you manifest your soulmate (or soulmates)?
How will you feel when you manifest your soulmate, a person who is a perfect fit for you?
In your past relationships, how did you know they were only a near fit and not a perfect fit?
Who is already in your life — loving you, supporting you — and why are you grateful for them?
Who in your life doesn’t deserve to be there, and makes your life worse in any/some/so many ways?
How can you release toxic relationships from your life? What would that take?
Abraham Hicks teaches many seminars on how to let go of doubt and get over resistance. Abraham Hicks has said, “We say, no, your doubt is the indication that you’re killing this project with contradictory thought.”
So many other Manifestation Teachers hype you up into thinking that any negative feeling, like doubt, keeps you from receiving or manifesting your desires.
I say: Not so! You can embrace doubt to manifest your desires.
Doubt can be harmless to the process of manifestation. Sure, doubt could stop you from successful manifestation. (And I’ll cover below the one way you can allow doubt to stop you from receiving.) But it doesn’t have to if you’ll do the two things I’ll tell you below! Let me show you how to embrace doubt.
And let’s begin with a very simple principle: Yes, you can receive the experience you desire if you feel bad before you have it.
You can doubt and still receive it. You can fear and still receive it. You can grieve and still receive it. You can feel unworthy and still receive it.
Heavens, do you actually think every person who becomes a parent feels worthy before they have their kids?! When you think of it this way, it’s pretty easy to see how you could embrace doubt and receive what you desire to manifest, right?
The human part of you can’t hold you back from what your soul knows will serve the growth of every part of you. That’s why it’s safe to embrace doubt when manifesting.
Rosella LaFevre, Long-Haul Master and Manifestation Teacher
I Doubted Just Before I Received One of the Biggest, Most Meaningful Manifestations of my Life
Let me take you back in time…
February 2010: I lay on a twin bed, plastic mattress cover crinkling as I rolled over. The huge 8th-floor corner dorm room was dark. Earbuds in, I listened to John Mayer crooning and felt hot tears slide down my cheeks. Feeling so alone, I cried for the love I didn’t have. Every love song I’d ever heard had promised me a love I had begun to think I would never receive. And I wondered, where the hell is he? The mythical He.
May 2010: I lay on my leopard print sheets in my pink-striped childhood bedroom staring at my white MacBook. Logged into the dating site OKCupid, I saw that a guy had checked out my profile. He was a writer like me. I sent him a message and hours later we were on a date listening to The Get Up Kids in his car.
August 2010: I lay in the dark in another bed — his Queen bed — with the guy. We snuggled and listened as the iPod Video plucked from my library the song “Yellow” by Coldplay. We picked it as our song.
See, I experienced doubt and despair as I prepared myself to receive my dream partner, but I always held out hope. I deeply believed that if it were POSSIBLE (and everything is possible!), then eventually it would happen for me that I’d find love.
The Only Way Doubt Could Stop You From Manifesting
There’s just one way that your doubt could keep you from receiving the experience, thing, person you desire in your life. Can you guess how that would happen? With your consent.
OK… that was half the answer. Let’s rewind and check in on what actually is doubt, on what it means to experience doubt.
To doubt (verb), is to feel uncertain about something.
When you doubt, you look at the world around you and allow yourself to buy into the idea that the experience you desire isn’t happening, and possibly can’t or won’t at all happen. The experience of doubting itself is often just a train of thought that we latch onto, continue thinking, and allow to feed our emotions and create inner turmoil. And, like, it’s really not that big a fucking deal… Unless or until you allow it to stop you from taking action.
Manifestation pretty much always requires action. (In fact, I can’t think of a single thing or way you could manifest that wouldn’t require some action.)
Receiving money requires you to notice you have it. To receive money you must deposit a check, ask someone for payment, send along wire transfer information, or even simply log into your banking app to see, hey, there’s money there! (Did the money exist before you observed it?)
Receiving a love relationship requires you to connect with another human being. That requires the speaking of words, the looking of looks, putting yourself in a place where you can be found by someone. Heck, it might require only that you open the door when a salesperson comes or the cable technician. But it certainly requires action.
Receiving a job requires you to take any number of actions: Telling others you’re looking, preparing a resume, getting clear on what work you want to do, possibly getting additional training or certifications.
And so… Doubt only has as much power to block manifestations as you give it. And you only really give it that power when you allow it to mean you should quit taking action.
In that case, if you were to allow doubt that power over you, if you did quit taking action in the direction of your desires, then maybe it’s because you didn’t really want the thing. And that’s perfectly cool! Perfectly valid! If that happens, then the doubt served you very well.
Embrace Doubt Knowing It Can’t Stop Shit – Your Wild Hopes Are Surer Than You Know!
It was a Wild Hope that I’d receive love from a man who could love me unconditionally. I didn’t grow up with examples of healthy relationships. My parents threw things at each other when I was very young. They were separated by the time I turned 15. My maternal grandparents’ marriage fell apart in the late 80s before I was born in 1991. My paternal grandmother passed away when my dad was a toddler and my paternal grandfather passed before I was born.
I think the only example I’d ever seen of a strong relationship was the couple who lived next door, and had me call them Aunt Alice and Uncle John. We attended their 50th wedding anniversary after they moved and before they passed away.
So why I ever thought it would be or had to be possible for me was kind of… wild! I definitely doubted at times. But I also held firm that it had to be possible and as long as it were possible, I’d keep showing up and taking action to put myself in the place where it could find me.
And ultimately, I was kind of young when it did! In May 2010 when Chris and I met, I was excited to be turning 19 the following month.
The amazing thing? Our love was always. going. to. happen.
Doubt can’t stop what your soul is determined to deliver to you.
Rosella LaFevre, Long-Haul Master and Manifestation Teacher
My soul knew Chris was coming to me. Or that it was bringing me to him. (However you choose to view that!) What do I mean? Well, five years before we met, I dreamed a very vivid dream. Emotionally vivid. I felt unconditional, soul-stirring, heart-warming love in a dream. I actually thought the dream was about my crush at the time, one of the young guys who worked at the Rita’s water ice stand whose name I still didn’t know at the time. In the dream a name was revealed to me: Christopher.
Here’s a picture of the journal entry where I recorded the dream:
I LOVE that I found this journal entry a couple of years after Chris and I met so that I could show you how inevitable your own Wild Hopes and desires are! Your soul is guiding you. It’s the human part of you that doubts. The human part of you can’t hold you back from what your soul knows will serve the growth of every part of you. That’s why I say you should embrace doubt; it can’t stop what your soul is determined to deliver to you.
How to Embrace the Doubt (The 2 Things You Must Do)
I’ve shown you, with an example from my life, how doubt doesn’t mean you don’t get to have what you desire. You can manifest when you embrace doubt, which is done in two very simple steps:
Express your doubt. Feel it. Process it by allowing it a voice. (You might journal it out. You might just watch something that helps you to cry and move it with your tears. Or whatever else you find works for you.)
Keep taking action in the direction of your dreams. I’m not telling you that you need to take action in any specific time frame. But you just keep marching forward. I can’t tell you how many different matches I tried on a dating site before I met Chris. I just kept making myself available for the love I desired to find me. Be like 18-year-old Rosella who kissed frogs to find her prince. (And know it’s OK to set boundaries and have standards, but that’s probably a topic for another post!)
Seriously? I actually deeply love the moments when I doubt. I embrace doubt because doubt has preceded every amazing thing I’ve done. And then I did it anyway. So when I feel doubt now, or a big steaming pile of grief over something that hasn’t happened (yet), I know I’m about to do the amazing!
Now that you know how to embrace doubt to manifest what you desire, read about divine timing!