Smart Ideas for Women Leaders
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This post started as a rant against an idea I think is absolutely stupid (see paragraph three) and became a motivational thing. I got SO FIRED UP writing this for you. I hope you love it.
Have you seen or heard someone recently say something like the following?
“When you post for the sake of posting, your energy is off and your people pick up on it. Don’t be consistent for consistency’s sake. Share what’s on your heart to share when you’re lit the eff up!!!!”
And honestly, I DON’T RESONATE. And the idea is, for me, totally de- motivational. Now…
I’m not saying I’m always consistent.
But let me tell you this:
I GOT A CLIENT, WHO HAS PAID ME OVER $50K, FROM POSTING TO LINKEDIN BECAUSE I FELT I SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE PLATFORM. BECAUSE I NEEDED TO REACH CLIENTS.
And I’m not saying I didn’t feel good when I wrote that post or published it.
But I AM saying that getting attention matters.
And I’m now really tired of the people giving you the bad advice to post only when you feel like it.
I’m not saying that you should feel guilty for not posting.
But I AM saying that the post-only-when-you’re-lit-up strategy is fuckin’ hard to rock when you’re population: 1 in Struggle City.
Laaaaaaadies and gentlemen, I’ve been MAYOR of Struggle City. There have been stretches of imbalance where I spent waaaaay more time feeling down, depressed, angry, bitter, etc, and if I waited until I FELT good to post, I’d a maybe posted once a week — and SOMETIMES DID ONLY POST ONCE A WEEK because someone got this idea in my head — and those were the SLOWEST times in my business in a straight-up cyclical fashion. I didn’t post because I felt “off,” I didn’t get business because I didn’t post, and I continued feeling bad because I didn’t have business coming in.
The Effort Won’t Kill You
I’m not saying that your energy doesn’t matter, and I’m not saying that you don’t deserve to feel good 90-95% of the time. (I’m a fan of a 5-10% margin of suckage just like I loooove when I’m in doubt.)
But I AM saying that effort made in ‘off’ moments have a cumulative effect. The effort won’t kill you.
Just Consider THIS!
Dude. I NEVER used to move my body. I’d find every excuse to stay in the house. Many stretches of days where I didn’t leave the apartment at all even to check the mail were a real thing for me. Why? Because as a kid I’d absorbed a lot of baaaaaaad ideas about my body. “I’m not athletic.” “My body moves awkwardly.” “I’m big-boned and it won’t change.” “I’m just meant to be fat.” “Exercise means sweating and I don’t like to sweat.” On and fucking on. I told myself effort toward a leaner, healthier body was pointless.
Now? I walk daily. My daily step counts are increasing. Now I DESIRE movement. I crave it. My body begs for it. The effort is good. My body feels BEST when making an effort. And in the last two weeks, the cumulative effect of all my efforts (including diet changes) have led to multiple people commenting on how much I appear to have lost, with one woman saying I look like I lost 45 pounds. Like, holy wow! That’s amazing!
Getting to the Point
My point? I used to think I shouldn’t make the EFFORT. That something about me or my body made me the exception to the Law of Accumulation of Efforts. And clearly I’m not the damn exception. I’ve just proved it to a whole group of people who’ve seen my fat loss in the last few months/weeks.
THE LAW OF ACCUMULATION OF EFFORTS is the “LOA” I think we could all pay more attention to.
So go ahead and fucking post when you don’t feel like it. Even when it doesn’t look like it’s happening, when the clients don’t seem to be coming, and the stubborn pounds keep hanging on, when the guy/gal of your dreams just doesn’t wanna step into your life…
IT’S ALL HAPPENING. THE EFFORT IS ACCUMULATING. YOU ARE WINNING.
P.S. I wrote this for myself as much as for you. #RemindingMyself
P.P.S. Did you find this motivational? Tell me in the comments where in your life you’re going to exert some effort today!
Today, June 28, is my golden birthday. That’s right, I turned 28 today! And you get to benefit from my birthday revelations. There’s so much more I want to share but let’s start with the three ways I plan to be of service going into my future!
These are Birthday Revelations about how I can be of service to the world now & later
Here’s how I desire to be of service in my 28th year and beyond…
No. 1: Creating and selling life-changing programs and products for “low-ticket prices.”
There’s one on my heart and mind right now that I will be launching soon. You’ll have 10 days to make your decision to join me in FULLY HER.
This is going to be a course/challenge type program focused on getting you into Decision and Full Commitment to a Vision of you fully expressed and highly successful. We’re talking about a really big “impossible” goal for you (personal to you) and deciding and committing to it.
For months, years, maybe even decades, you’ve left your arrival at this level of business success up to chance. You’ve gotten on trains headed in the totally opposite direction or even just stayed stalled out miles from your destination. You’ve waited for someone to hand you the ticket. I know because I’ve been there. And I know that no one really ever showed you how to get your mind, body, and spirit fully onboard to manifest success this big.
No worries. We’ve got this.
You’re about to have your ticket punched, love. And we’re gonna get the train moving.
FULLY HER will be a 3-week immersion with 3 live calls/videos, 16 lessons, and 6 totally new meditations. It’s gonna be less than $200 during the early bird period. I’m so excited to bring this to you.
Want more details on FULLY HER when it’s open for enrollment? Jump on over to Facebook and request to join my group >
No. 2: Working really deeply for years with amazing clients who come to me for coaching and support.
I’m gonna admit something I think I’ve only shared once before: I really deeply desire to fill 1-3 spots in the most intimate support package possible for the fee of $100,000. I’ve not totally known what that would look like, just felt the energy of requiring that much to work with me in a very specific way.
That energy has been swirling around and through me again and a few more details came through. For the right person(s), this would be “lifetime” coaching with me. That’s the word I heard around it.
I see these details so far: One year of unlimited calls and unlimited text/voice support. During that time, access to any program/product I launch. After year 1, one call every 6 months and unlimited text/voice support. Lifetime discount of 30% off any coaching packages (like if you wanted calls again) and other offers.
There’s more that will be revealed to me, I can feel it. And I’m grateful that these pieces of the vision have revealed themselves to me.
No. 3: In some other really massive ways that I’m not ready to share yet!
I’m asking myself why I ever bother mentioning this if I’m not ready to share details of the vision for these other ways I desire to be of service… Here’s why I’m mentioning this and keeping the details secret: Because I’ve finally, around my 28th birthday, given myself permission to keep some things close to my chest and to be protective of my dreams and visions for as long as I want to.
I never used to resonate with the memes I saw that said, “Be quiet while you make big moves.” I mean… I wanted to be the person who could do that, but it felt impossible. There was something in me, I think the result of past trauma, that compelled me to share everything, and I’m past that now. There’s a new story in me around this…
It is fully safe for me to keep BIG SHIPS docked quietly in my harbor until they’re ready for launch.
PLEASE SHARE IN THE COMMENTS how you desire to (and will be) of service now & later.
I want to hold the vision with you and cheer you on!
In the age of Grubhub, Instacart, and free-2-day-shipping from Amazon, it’s super easy to go days without leaving the house. But truth be told, if you’re not practiced at getting out of your head and into your body, any excuse could hold you captive. The process of manifesting, when you do it well, entails taking supreme care of your being even before you have the next experience you desire. Lately I’ve learned that our minds are truly not our allies when it comes to self-nurturing. Let’s talk about it…
“I’m never leaving this couch.”
OK, I don’t think I ever actually said that. But it was the story of my life.
Excuses to avoid leaving the apartment were abundant.
- “I can have my groceries delivered instead of walking to get them!”
- “Ooh, I can order delivery on Grubhub for three meals a day!”
- “Amazon, I will take free 1-day delivery on those lightbulbs!”
- Even, simply, “I don’t want to get all sweaty today.”
I could go days without leaving the apartment.
Self-Nurturing Just Got Way More Active In My Penthouse Apartment 😉
Now I go for a walk pretty much every evening.
It’s true what they say about what you measure, you focus on, and what you focus on, grows.
Last month, I set a goal for the overall number of steps I wanted to have taken in May. The goal was 100,000 steps. I walked at least 104,756 steps in May!
This story of breaking the habit of being sedentary isn’t just that.
It’s also the story of triumph over mind.
Because… again… my mind was an expert at finding excuses to avoid exercise.
It’s been the same experience with quitting sugar. My mind didn’t actually want to quit sugar. My body did. Somehow I started hearing my body over my mind. (To be honest, my brain still pipes up with the mental requests for sugar, especially when I’m feeling stressed out or bored.)
I’m realizing through taking my daily walk and saying no to the copious amounts of sugar I used to consume daily, that I’m more powerful than my mind.
It has also become abundantly clear: My mind is mostly incapable of nurturing me.
My mind is mostly incapable of nurturing me.
Rosella LaFevre, Manifestation Teacher and Long-Haul Master
Self-nurturing, as in the practice of meeting your own needs, is the critical piece of manifesting that doesn’t seem to come up with other teachers.
Your Homework
Below are questions you can consider to gain clarity on what self-nurturing activities will benefit you most right now.
- What do I think I should do to feel my best?
- What would feel really good right now?
- How does my body want to move today?
- What would allow me to feel supported by the Universe?
The questions specifically include one about what you think you should do. Your responses to that question may or may not be supportive of your wellness. Sometimes we “know” in our minds we should do something to feel our best and we still can manufacture excuses.
Do one thing today from the list the above questions helps you to generate. Do it without thinking. Just get moving. Reflect after on how you feel and if you’ll try another self-nurturing activity without thinking first.
Join us in my Free Facebook group for more support >
Drop a comment below about the self-nurturing idea you’re gonna complete today!
The dishes were piled high in the sink. I was pissed. I huffed and puffed as I cleaned the dishes I needed to make food for my boyfriend and me. As I rev’d up for an argument, I coached myself and experienced what I really wanted: Cooperation and love.
We’ve had less than 10 fights in our 9+ years together. Ready to learn something that could help you stop fighting with your boyfriend?
The dishes were piled high in the sink. I was pissed. I huffed and puffed as I cleaned the dishes I needed to make food for my boyfriend and me.
I thought, Why didn’t I do the dishes last night? But also, why doesn’t he just see they need to be done and do them for me? Doesn’t he know how happy and grateful I would be if he did that without me needing to ask? WHY do I need to fucking ask?
Not that I always do all the things that need doing around here, but I always SEE the things super clearly. You know. The dishes need to be done. The stove needs a DEEP clean. The stainless steel appliances are somehow, magically, stained. There’s a perpetual pile of dirty laundry. You know. ALL the damn things.
And I observed myself letting the frustration and anger build. I wanted to roar at my man for not doing the dishes, for “NEVER” helping around here. That’s never worked well before… And so I centered myself enough to calmly say, “Hey, babe. It would make me feel like a super grateful Queen if you would do these dishes before I come back later tonight. Can you do that before I get back?” (Emphasis on before I come home!)
He said he would.
And get this: I found myself back at the office (yeah, I have a day job) wondering if he would actually do it. Or if I’d come home to the dirty dishes still piled high. And part of me started to build momentum behind the idea he didn’t. I felt myself starting to grow CERTAIN that he wouldn’t do it and I’d come home to feel angry and resentful.
It dawned on me… I think just on the brief walk home… that I was leaning toward — choosing — to not have my desires honored, and more awfully, I was WANTING the FIGHT.
*As I write this, I realize, it was probably because I’m so used to having that fight over “you don’t do anything around here,” that my body craved the chemical brew it makes when we have that fight….*
Want to stop fighting with your boyfriend? Make peace with the parts of you that crave the fight and its effects, including on your hormones!
And so, as I walked from the elevator to our apartment door, I thought firmly and clearly, “I want to open the door and find that he’s done the dishes. I don’t want the fight. I want to feel happy and be grateful to him.”
To stop fighting, decide you get to have what you want more than the fight: Love.
After I opened the door, I heard the dishwasher. He must have put the dishes in just 10-15 minutes before I came home.
And I thanked him before I even got my coat off.
So if you catch yourself building for a fight, it’s time to ask: DO I WANT A FIGHT MORE THAN I WANT COOPERATION?
You get to choose different any moment of any day.
Share in the comments: What do you think? Can you try this?