8 Steps to Take to STOP Mindlessly Doing Things You’re Not Enjoying So You Can Avoid Your Emotions

The curriculum of inner work that the Universe has been guiding me through recently is intense and amazing. I’ve declared big goals and dreams for myself, and I’m being shown areas where my energy has been out of alignment with my desires. I am committed to doing this work, and more than that, committed to sharing it!

I’m so excited to share with you an 8-step process I intuitively followed last night after I caught myself in behavior that I was not enjoying or truly benefitting from. And I’ll show you how it helps you to honor your emotions and go into creating your own life beyond belief. (Remember, that’s what we’re all about around here!)

You’ll find subheadings here, marked by double asterisks, which are the steps of the process. At the end is a handy-dandy, neat little list of all 8 steps.

**Do I ACTUALLY Want to Be Doing This?

…is what I had to ask myself when I noticed I was watching random YouTube videos and Instagram Stories after I’d already written my goals (usually the second-to-last thing I do before sleep).

There was an aimlessness as I clicked from one thing to the next. Thoughts bubbling like: “Do I really want to watch this?” and “What did I just get out of watching that?”

I didn’t actually want to be watching these things.

I wanted to go be asleep because I’d set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. I’ve so been enjoying waking up early to write my goals, meditate, and write my daily blog.

But as I slid someone’s IG story down and away to stop it, I recognized that I’d been in avoidance.

**Why Am I Doing This If I Don’t Really Want to Be?

… is the next thing I asked myself and the answer was immediately available and clear: I sought to avoid the gnawing sense of worry inside.

Not only did I not really want to watch the things I watched, I did not, in the act of watching, achieve the outcome that I know I was in that behavior to achieve.

Watching those videos didn’t stop my worry, it just stuffed it down where it could fester.

Worry shows up at other times of the day, but it does seem most insistent on having my attention pre-sleep. The last few days I’ve made a concentrated effort to move through the worry that frequently pops up when I’m approaching my bedtime. My approach to resolving and releasing this worry has included making the decision to surrender my worries. I’ve affirmed, “I surrender all worry and choose now to feel safe no matter what.”

And there I was last night in avoidance behavior that was keeping me from sleep and also from facing, let alone processing, the worry that was creeping up inside.

Other incredible blog posts by me, Rosella LaFevre:

My Manifesting Process >

Manifesting Question and Answer >

Manifesting When You Doubt Yourself / EVERYTHING >

**What If, Instead of Avoiding, I FACED / Felt The Thing?

As soon as I became conscious that I was doing something I didn’t want to do to avoid facing something I didn’t want to face, I came into the knowing that if I’d just give Worry a minute to voice itself, maybe it would step aside. If I actually fully felt it and heard its message, maybe it would slink away quickly.

**What Does It Have to Teach Me?

Pulling myself into a seated position on the bed, I put my journal in my lap and I had a conversation in writing with Worry.

Giving Worry space to voice itself, I received this: “I’m afraid of the consequences of not _____. I should be able to (do) _____. I should not be ____. I don’t want x person judging me or telling me I need to do more. (But I worry my desire to do exactly as much as I do is not enough.)”

(I’ve left out some specifics because the specifics don’t actually matter; I want you to see the kinds of thoughts associated with my sense of Worry.)

**Has This Feeling Surfaced a True Problem Which I Can Allow to Resolve?

I understood this was an old problem, with a lot of “evidence” in my past that makes the idea of being “Not Enough” feel very real to my nervous system. Fair enough. This is a problem to process.

**Will this Feeling that Surfaced the Problem but Could Keep Me Stuck Now Step Aside if I Promise to Handle the Problem?

Writing back to Worry: “OK, Worry, but if the problem is that I fear I am not enough, what can I actually do about that? See, you probably don’t have an answer, Worry, because you’re the energy of identifying problems, not the energy which identifies solutions.” (Maybe I was scolding Worry a little bit, so I softened, and continued writing…)

**Don’t Forget to Thank The Emotion for Surfacing a Problem! And What Force Can I Three-Way Call into This Problem to Assure the First Emotion We’ve Got It as Good as Sorted?

Writing more: “THANK YOU SO MUCH, Worry, for identifying a problem that needs solving. Thank you! You rock for helping me see this. Can you take a backseat as I powwow with Universal Love to open up and receive the shift that could result in the easy, effortless resolution of the [problem which is, in my subconscious, the result of not feeling enough]?”

I felt a release when I’d finished. Worry could step aside.

Then I wrote to Universal Love: “Universal Love and the Council of Light*, I call you in and thank you in advance for your full support and guidance in the release of the idea I am not enough.”

I wrote this with the conviction that a higher power could easily step in and do “work behind the scenes” to help me shift this if I declared myself open to such support.

**What Aligned Action Shall I Take to Resolve This?

In my journal, I played with this idea of my newly identified desire: “I want to align with the idea that I’m enough, always, just as I am, to live well, have support, access all the resources I need, and have a lot of fun, too. I choose now to align myself with love and the conviction that I am enough.”

(Remember, here in my world, it’s perfectly OK to “want” something. Acknowledging your desire of it with even 5% faith that you can have what you desire is enough to start you on the path to receiving.)

I also felt inspired to listen to a guided meditation I’ve accessed before which is all about being enough. After listening to the meditation, I found sleep came quickly to me last night. And I woke inspired to listen to the meditation again.

While I may not magically, fully believe in every cell of my being yet that I am enough, I’ve certainly begun the healing. And the very wisest part of me says: “Don’t be surprised if the problem, which you thought the worry was all about, does magically begin to sort itself out in an accelerated way.”

Again, I’m so excited to share with you this 8-step process. I literally didn’t realize when I sat down to write today’s Truthletter that all this would come out, but I’m so glad it did! (And yeah, I wrote the intro to this post after I wrote the bulk of it.)

The 8 Steps in Summary

To recap, here are the 8 steps that can take you from Worry (or some other emotion you’re tempted to avoid) to Release to Creating a Life Beyond Belief!

1. Do I actually want to be doing this?
2. Why am I doing this if I don’t really want to be?
3. What if, instead of avoiding, I faced / felt the thing?
4. What does it have to teach me?
5. Has this feeling surfaced a true problem which I can allow to resolve?
6. Will this feeling that surfaced the problem but could keep me stuck now step aside if I promise to handle the problem? (Don’t forget to thank the emotion for surfacing a problem!)
7. What positive force can I three-way call into this problem to assure the first emotion we’ve got it as good as sorted?
8. What aligned action shall I take to resolve this?

Now go forth and use these steps to

Create a Life Beyond Belief!

xoxo Rosella
October 7, 2019

About Rosella LaFevre

As a business coach, I help women entrepreneurs to discard their undercharging mentality so they can command aligned fees and feel valued for their service.

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