I daresay I found my soulmate early in life because of these 3 powerful tips I’m going to share with you today.
Ready to read these 3 powerful tips to help you manifest your soulmate?
It was a month before my 19th birthday when I saw a guy had checked out my OKCupid profile, and I messaged him. That night in May 2010 we went on our first date. Seeing as we’re celebrating our 9th anniversary this week, I’m qualified to share some tips for manifesting your own soulmate!
By doing what I’m going to share with you in this article, I met and fell in love with a man who I have lovingly described as the safe place from which I’ve been able to blossom.
I’ve grown more outgoing, more assertive, more confident, and in so many more ways than I can describe. But I only grew so much because I knew he saw me. Saw me the way I saw me. Saw me the way NO ONE ELSE EVER HAD.
That should give you a hint of the emotional stakes I felt when I was manifesting my soulmate…
I remember how excited I was as a kid for every holiday. As Thanksgiving or Easter approached, I was practically bouncing in my seat, ready to see my cousins and aunts and uncles and my grandmother. I’d build it up in my head. So excited to see them. As an adult, I can’t remember what exactly I thought would happen, but it was like knowing you were going to win the lottery. And then… at some point during the day, I would inevitably experience the crash you feel when the lotto numbers are called and you fuckin’ lost.
Growing up, that sense of emptiness like I’d lost something big was actually pretty persistent.
It didn’t matter WHERE I was… that emptiness followed.
How can I describe the craving I felt for love, kinship, community, BELONGING?
I generally had the sense that I was like nobody else around. No one GOT me. And though I tried, I didn’t really GET them either.
As a teenager, my only hope was that I’d someday find a guy who did get me. I prayed that my soulmate would come along, and fast. This brings me to my first tip for help you manifest your soulmate…
Manifest Your Soulmate Tip 1: Visualize, but more than that… imagine the FEELS
I spent time in visualization, though I wasn’t aware that this was a creative method that would actually bring him to me… I pictured, as my mother drove us somewhere and we sang along to cheesy ’80s music, that I’d someday be driving alongside my soulmate, the two of us singing the same songs I was now singing. I imagined taking my future beau to family gatherings. Imagined him having discussions with my male cousins about sports. I imagined the wholeness I would feel when standing by his side.
Manifest Your Soulmate Tip 2: Learn to Recognize Near-Fits, and Hold Out for Perfect Fits
My path to my boyfriend taught me that there are near-fits and perfect fits, and you should definitely hold out for the perfect fit.
“You deserve to be YOU. Any change you’re going to make should be a change you want to make. Those around you — and I mean everyone — should be happy to support you in building your life the way you want and let go of their notions of what your life is supposed to look like.”Rosella LaFevre, Long-Haul Master and Manifestation Teacher
Before Chris came a few other guys but one in particular comes to mind. He is a great guy, and I really hope he found his perfect fit, but we weren’t it. And yet… Spending the weekend at his house, hanging out with his mom was the first time in a while I’d felt at home. His mom was a real person. She wore her flaws on her sleeve but she was loving and kind. In the brief time I spent around her, she showed me unconditional love, of which I’d been starved for a while.
That relationship taught me that I could feel that homey feeling again but I could also hold out for someone who wouldn’t need me to change…
Here’s a really specific example: That boyfriend told me I’d have to learn how to drive if we were going to stay together. The truth is I had one lesson behind the wheel of a Buick Rainier at 16 years old and that was enough for me. To this day, I have no desire to drive. Chris has never forced the issue, never told me I need to drive. He’s happy to be my chauffeur. And now there’s Uber, so that’s awesome…
You deserve to be YOU. Any change you’re going to make should be a change you want to make. Those around you — and I mean everyone — should be happy to support you in building your life the way you want and let go of their notions of what your life is supposed to look like.
If they don’t? Call them in. (And while these tips work for manifesting your romantic soulmate partner, they also work for calling in soulmate friends, soulmate clients, and soulmate employees!)
Manifest Your Soulmate Tip 3: Ruthlessly Edit Toxicity from Your Life
You can also take action to remove the toxicity from your life that prevents your soulmates from coming to you. If there isn’t any toxicity in your life, that’s great! But there was in mine. And truthfully, I didn’t eliminate these beyond-sour relationships until after I met my boyfriend, cutting these ties I’m going to tell you about helped me to manifest a soul family.
“Clearing space for the people who will LOVE you as you are while empowering you to grow may be painful at the start, but it is rewarding as fuck. I promise.”Rosella LaFevre, Long-Haul Master and Manifestation Teacher
Here’s the most potent example I can give you of this…
Most of that very same family I used to be ecstatic about seeing each Easter (and on every other major holiday) are people I no longer talk to. My parents’ ugly divorce really forced the issue… And I decided to say “ta-ta for now” to my maternal family.
There was anger on their side that I refused to exile my father. And I was pissed as hell that they were trying to make me pick sides. Right before my college graduation I allowed my mother to effectively disown me…
This left a void. I had no idea how I would spend my holidays now. I decided I would never go back until I am apologized to, and that still hasn’t happened nearly 6 years later.
I missed the big family gatherings, though. I missed being surrounded by lots of people, and I craved, even if I didn’t realize it at the time, finding a family that would love me unconditionally.
So the last I saw my mother and her family was Easter Sunday in 2013.
By Thanksgiving 2013, I was invited with my father to spend holidays with a family we’d known for years. These beautiful people are who I’ve spent every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter with in the years since.
Clearing space for the people who will LOVE you as you are while empowering you to grow may be painful at the start, but it is rewarding as fuck. I promise.
Manifest Your Soulmate: 3 Powerful Tips Recap
Tip 1: Visualize, but more than that… Imagine the FEELS
Tip 2: Learn to Recognize Near-Fits, and Hold Out for Perfect Fits
Tip 3: Ruthlessly Edit Toxicity from Your Life
Manifest Your Soulmate with This Homework
Take some time today to envision (with or without putting pen to paper: your choice) the soulmates you’re making space for, whether they’re a romantic partner, fans of your work, paying clients, or a “new” family that gets you. Here are some prompts for your reflection:
- How will your life change when you manifest your soulmate (or soulmates)?
- How will you feel when you manifest your soulmate, a person who is a perfect fit for you?
- In your past relationships, how did you know they were only a near fit and not a perfect fit?
- Who is already in your life — loving you, supporting you — and why are you grateful for them?
- Who in your life doesn’t deserve to be there, and makes your life worse in any/some/so many ways?
- How can you release toxic relationships from your life? What would that take?
Remember, and here’s your