Is anything ever enough when you live according to your desires?
In my experience, No.
And one night in the last few weeks, as I walked through a parking lot, a bag of junk food on my wrist, I talked to God.
Talked about the desperation I felt to be, do and have more in my life.
To become a wife, a mother, experience greater success in my business, to live in a bigger home than a studio apartment I feel we outgrew years ago.
“I want more,” I said.
Sullenness turned to tearful surrender as I prayed:
“Be the ‘more’ in my life, God.”
It felt medicinal.
So I repeated myself: “Be the more. Be the more. Be the more. Be the more, God. Be the more.”
On and on until I approached the door of my apartment building, growing quiet to avoid any eavesdroppers in the lobby.
I keep coming back to this prayer.
I say it again aloud as I write now: “Be the more in my life, God. Please. Be the more.”